Tuesday 27 November 2012

A Childs Grief... #YouthStories

Its been 2 years now since I lost my dad, it was so hard finding out it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach it was such a big shock, I was a daddy's girl. I was only 14 when he passed away, the first couple of weeks I didn't know what to do with my life but then I started to get there not a day went by where I wouldn't think about him, but then something good happened I found out about my sister being pregnant I was so excited that I was going to be an auntie again, then I found out she was having a girl I was even happier because know I got the perfect nephew and niece in my life, another amazing thing I have in my life is that I have the 2 most beautiful cousins in the world ellie and kyle. When ellie came along I was so happy to have another little baby girl in the family and a couple of weeks later find out that I'm going to be the godmother to that child I couldn't be more happier.
I think of my daddy every day, but mostly on days like birthdays, farther's day and christmas. I do sit there and just think about him and the special memories we've had and how the world and I has lost a wonderful man and how heaven has gained a wonderful man.
Every night just before I go to sleep I look out my bedroom window and there right infront of me sits the brightest star and when I look at that star I know its my daddy wishing me good night, I say to myself that's my beautiful daddy watching over me.
Every night before bed I would  listen to his song by robbie Williams called 'angel' to get me to sleep.
The days I miss him most is when I'm having a down or upset day and just want him here to make me happy and to talk to my daddy he always new how to put a smile on my face. I go to his grave to visit him it does feel weird going there because I know that he is in heaven now and not with us, I feel bad when I don't go to the grave because he's my daddy but when I go there it makes me upset and brings back that day. I go there because it make me happy  knowing I visit him and knowing that grave is nice and tidy.
Life is hard and tuff most days but I know I have to be happy and make life good for my dad as he will be looking down on me and seeing me living life how he thinks I should. I wouldn't of got through these last couple of years if wasn't for the people that cared for me the most, friends and family. The person that helped me the most was my sister. I wouldn't be able to do anything without her.
Love you and miss u with all my heart.
                               
                                                'life's a climb but the views great'.
                            
                                                      R.I.P daddy :'( <3 Xxxx

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