You as young people face many issues as a whole in general, eg puberty, exams, stereotypical judgements ~ this is besides additional things which you may encounter throughout your childhood which can impact on you as a teenager and for the rest of your lives. Many of these experiences will be highlighted via other stories in this book.
I want to focus on something that is very common and very apparant in all of young peoples lives and social circles and can for some have very longlasting effects or implications. I will use my own experience to reflect on this.
As a child I was very aware from a young age re popularity, different groups within the school and of those who fitted it and those who never. I'm guessing we were all aware of this as it would have been a different experience depending on what group we belonged to.
As I became a teenager it became more evident and more fierce. It was like being in the jungle, survival of the fittest, everyone striving to be the best. What group is the most popular, who wears the best clothes, who listens to the best music and has the best boyfriend and so on.. This hungry competition on its own is a big thing as a teenager, and if you don't belong, your self esteem, confidence and friendships can suffer. I made myself mould into this `popular person` when I was a teenager. I made out I liked certain things, which I may not have liked, I listened to nusic I thought wasn't great and wore clothes like everybody else. I conformed to what you needed to do to fit in. I ended up battling with my own personal feelings and views and suppressed my opinions in order to be part of this bigger thing. I did things I didn't agree with and felt guilty and like a horrible person for so I was not singled out. Being in the popular crowd then was more than what it appeared to be, eg the clothes, the boyfriend etc. To be popular I found myself participating in bad behaviour. I started smoking first, drinking alcohol, experimenting with drugs and sex all because of the pressure you feel from your peers and the desire to fit in. As a girl I became a complete bitch, bullying those who didn't belong and making them feel worse than they probably already did because of it. All because I wanted to boost my own ego, feel powerful and keep my stance within the group.
I didn't hate people, I understood that I was wrong, I knew I was mean and hurting other peoples feelings, I knew my parents would be disappointed in me, but as a teenager with so many other things to deal with I didn't want to be an outsider to.
As time went on I started getting into trouble with police, getting a bad reputation and the intelligence I knew I had was being used negatively and to hurt other people rather than to better myself through education etc. This eventually started to hurt me as deep down I knew I couldn't make an excuse for the things I was doing and I could see me becoming a horrible person with a potentially destructuve future and with noone who would care because I acted like I didn't care. I knew I needed to change.
Before my exams a situation occurred which opened my eyes up to the kind of person I wanted to be as an adult and I become to realise what was important in life. Its not about how popular the crowd is that you mix with, its not about losing who you are just to fit in and its not about hurting others to prove yourself. This will only damage you as a person in the long term and you become lost and caught up in it all you don't know who you are.
Its about being who you are and not being afraid of your individuality, standing up for what you believe in and knowing what is right and wrong and treating others how you wish to be treated. In life this will help you become a stronger independent person, with good morals and able to make positive decisions.
When I changed my attitude and outlook, I focused on my education and ended up going to university and qualifying as a social worker. I did this independantly without my so called friends and I became the outsider but this allowed me to be who I really was. I now have a small circle of close friends who I love and trust. We are all different and accept that and our differences compliment one another. I've made mistakes and bad choices but learning from our experiences in order to become a better person is what's important. And not forgetting who you are or becoming someone else for the benefit of others..
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